Crime And Detective Stories T-Shirts

"Celebrity homicide. How may we help you?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

hard-boiled egg...

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'You know too much,'

"Elementary, my dear Watson- the cartoonist did it."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Joan Hickson

The Elliot Ness monster.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

"Puss in cement boots"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

The Philip Marlow family

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"Don't editorialize."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"That's hardly necessary!"