Cream Cheese Critic Mugs

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

6 Brothers Falafel

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Rump roast?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Needs salt!'

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"This is our soft opening."

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

Hashimoto's Restaurant - Sushi Like Mother Used to Make!