Craving Conquerors Pillows

'I do try to walk more! The donut shop is a good 1/2 block further tan the health food store!'

"Here we are."

Homo Gamus

To do before Saturday...

"He conquered the known world - now all he's got is sudoku."

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

Gamers

'But you said to clean my room.'

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

'It's tough doing what's right when you see what's left.'

"We tried healthy birthday treats. That lasted about a week."

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

'Diet Plan Rule number one: Stop using ice cream truck music as your ringtone.'

Walk dog, brush your teeth.

"See I told you the dentist was a pussycat."

Overeaters anonymous meeting 9 to 10pm

'I've got it in pill form, but for really fast relief from panic attacks...'

Speleologist

The five stages of laundry 1. Denial I'll do it tomorrow. 2. Anger Why are there no clean clothes!? 3. Bargaining Ok! Who wants to help with the laundry? 4. Depression Can't. Do. It. 5. Acceptance

"I hereby declare this planet for Oxymaxian territory"

"Ha ha, very funny. But seriously … there’s a pub at the top?"

Scared as Hell Airlines.

"Before coming here, I didn't even know I was acrophobic."

"It's tough sticking to a diet when you're surrounded by temptation."

'I've started this new 'Detox' diet - no caffeine or alcohol...no processed foods...

"You are right...testing shows you have chocolate in your DNA."

"There was a bee."

"Thank you for your enthusiastic but WRONG example of cursive writing."

"Ok spring, you can come anytime now."

'I've decided to help you diet. I had invisible fencing installed around the refrigerator.'

"The Heavens Will be Mine."