Craft Fair Avoider T-Shirts

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Crowded Ice Fishing

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

'I had a cough at the time!'

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

Prune Eating Contest: Last Man Standing.

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

'I thought I'd cut out the middle men.'

"I'm actually looking forward to age-related hearing loss."

"Iowa is super diverse. We have hot dogs, corn dogs, cheese dogs, chili cheese dogs..."

"So I said 'Would it kill you to do a little yardwork?'"

'Pre-nuptial art agreement.'

"I can’t bear the self-satisfied unless I’m self-medicated."

"I just can't seem to get into the spirit of the thing."

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.'

"Gah! Too many people!"

We moved to the sea to get away from the crowd, only to find they'd moved to the sea.

'IN my fantasy league, we're not allowed to pick players from teams named after cats.'

'I went to the city once, but I couldn't get used to the crowds'.

'No thanks.'

Frankenstein's monster on sale at the arts and crafts fair.

'If you want somewhere quiet and without crowds...I recommend Greece.'

Mountaineer finds a computer at the top of the mountain.

"We can't stay. Charles freaks out without some electronic device beeping or blinking at him."

State Fair

'Don't bother to sit down - we're leaving early to avoid the crowd.'

'Oh wow! They're got brown pottery, stained glass sun catchers and cows cut out of plywood!'

'My dog ate my homework, so I couldn't study for the test. So, as his punishment, he'll be taking the test for me.'

'My last book did not have a happy ending. I had to pay a fine.'