Cow Conversationist T-Shirts

"They’re real."

I think we need to lose the 'Singing Ringing Tree'!

"Have you given your daughter the 'Why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free' speech?"

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Bubble Gum Farms.

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

Pull the udder one

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

Cow writer.

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

We come in pieces!

"You're wondering why I've called you here."

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

'Mama! Aliens.'

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

"Now, let your inner ‘bad dog’ answer the question ..."

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

"Why do people talk about a rat's nest like it's a bad thing?"

"You know what the Serengeti lacks?—Decent deserts."

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"