Cover Song Aficionado Mugs

"And now, with apologies to Cole Porter."

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Orchestra.

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

"Toi Toi Toi!"

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

"The Monster Mash wasn't just about having fun. We were protesting Vietnam."

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

Woman crying with happiness.

Fossil record player.

Bryan Ferry

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

Elevator Music

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Violin Practise

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

Opera Singer Looking Out of Place Sitting On The Bar Piano

"Hi,Honey - I'm Homeboy."

The Great Blues Heron, Live at the Sandbar

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

Glyndebourne