Courtship Humorist T-Shirts

"You'll never catch me! Not without arms!"

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

Always Compatible

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."