Courtroom Role-player Mugs

Trial by Media

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

I love Lawyers

Barristers

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'