Courtroom Illustrator Mugs

'Your Honor, members of the jury and Neilsen viewers...'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'But your honor, imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.'

'The highest court in the land.'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

The hour of justice

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

Counsel examining witness

A Court Reporter's Pocket Knife

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

''The buck stops here'? What a coincidence, your honor. My nickname is 'the Buck'.'

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

A Scotsman in a court wearing sports gear is hardly news.

The court freezes my assets and wants me to live on $20K per month? They want me to starve!

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

'You have an over reactive gagging reflex.'