
'It;s Medieval Times Week here at the courthouse, so I'm afraid that instead of getting probation, you'll be drawn and quartered.'
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'It;s Medieval Times Week here at the courthouse, so I'm afraid that instead of getting probation, you'll be drawn and quartered.'
Trial by Media
'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'
Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'
"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."
"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."
'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'
Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .
'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'
"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."
I love Lawyers
"We won!"
"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."
"Judgement Day: Division Four"
Sue the Author 3PM
Barristers
"Now that's a win."
"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."
'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'
"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."
You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.
'I think I'll become a lawyer.'
"You can't plead cute."
'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'
'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'
"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."
"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."
"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."
"We make crime pay."
"I must insist on my lawyer present."
"#notguilty."
'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''
'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'
"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."
Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.
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