Courtroom Connoisseurs T-Shirts

"You don't have to answer that."

'Yes, my client killes his wife with an axe, but I plead not guilty because it was a work of modern art!'

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Yawning barristers in court

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

RBG, RGB, CMYK

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

Counsel's Opinion.

Criminal Stupidness

AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION ACLU, HELP TAKE A BITE OUT OF LAW, 'I like it!'

'The Supreme Court found the new law constitutional, but struck it down anyway because it's politically incorrect.'

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, on the basis of a previously undiagnosed and untreated case of Integrity Deficit Disorder!"

Judge