Courtroom Commuters On Ice Pillows

Attorneys on ice.

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Bailiff."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Arrogant junior barrister

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

Pinocchio and Partners Lawyers.

Judges alarm clock: 'beep beep, all rise!'

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

"Guilty! I hope you're not expecting any positive feedback."

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"He's doing it again, your honor!"

Judge

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

'Well, son, the justice system depends on finding 12 people who are smart and impartial enough to judge the accused intelligently without malice or favor.'