Courtroom Commuters On Ice Pillows

Attorneys on ice.

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Bailiff."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

Arrogant junior barrister

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

"Guilty! I hope you're not expecting any positive feedback."

Judges alarm clock: 'beep beep, all rise!'

Pinocchio and Partners Lawyers.

Judge

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

'Well, son, the justice system depends on finding 12 people who are smart and impartial enough to judge the accused intelligently without malice or favor.'

'OK, OK, you've made your point. I'll admit that sometimes when I feel threatened, I snap.'