Courtroom Comic Relief Prints

"I have now decided the strategy on how to present your case in court."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Just for the heck of it, how do you plead?"

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"Bailiff."

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"#notguilty."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Yawning barristers in court

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

'I'd like to go back to law school and pay attention this time.'

A baby in court

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'