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'You idiot!- I told you to hire a French maid and an English butler!'

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

Contest of wills.

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

"Please accept the apologies of this court. You're free to go now, and, by the way, here's your DNA back."

"Let's do it, let's fall in love!"

"To indict or not to indict... No, to charge or not to charge... No..." "Don't worry. I know how this turns out." "Mueller's Hamlet"

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

Antonin Scalia

"No, you don't need to slay a dragon or go on a quest to prove your love to me. I just want you to keep your castle a hell of a lot cleaner."

"That's right, think of yourself all the time! I'm the one who will be losing a client for the next twenty years."

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

Lady Jane Grey

"Nothing is certain except death."

"Your illegal pursuit of happiness has resulted in a sentence of life without liberty!"

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

Law Offices

'I think you have figured out that, with today's overcrowded prisons, pleading insanity will put you back on the streets..."

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

'I had them watch Court TV all night for background.'

A convict escaping during the press scrum

Attorney and killer bee.

“This daily metamorphosis never fails to amaze me. Around the house, I’m a perfect idiot. I come to court, futon a black robe, and, by God, I’m it!”

"Your Honor, gangsta rap made me do it."

"Your Honor, may I point out to the court that my client pleased guilty to wrongdoing, but not the evildoing."

"Twenty years? What ever happened to revolving-door justice?"

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, unless it's a really sensational lie that will boost our ratings?

' I think now would be a good time to adjourn for lunch.'

Duchess