Courtesy Crew Mugs

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

Local News in Heaven

Next camera crew 5 mins

Hollywood producer.

"Wilson, you're still using those training wheels?!"

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

True Story Movie

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

"O.K. 'The Giant Baby from Space,' Take 1."

Two reporters interview each other.

'Damn ! I don't have a clue where we are.'

"The character I'm playing has Alzheimer's disease. So, I'm bound to forget my lines occasionally!"

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

'Cut!' (movie studio director)

Peace and Justice Return to the Joint High Commission

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

'It means, like, stop filming...'

'Well, I for one do not believe common courtesy to the host demands deck shoes.'

Journalist murder.

'Sorry, it's packed with t.v crews doing links.' ( LONDON EYE )

'I'm sorry, I can't take part in your survey, I'm not your typical man in the street.'

Kingsley Amis

'How many times I gotta tell you? Don't pay any attention to which camera has the red light on!'

"You're beating him senseless, but what you really want is his approval."

'It looks pretty flimsy, but I'm a gentleman: After you dear...'

"Okay. . . Where DID the elephant go?. . ."