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Trial by Media

''Twenty years'? -- I didn't know it was THAT illegal!'

"For details on the supreme court's ruling, here's my domestic partner and soon-to-be my legal spouse..."

Trump's 38th law suit thrown out of appeals court

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Now that's a win."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

Sue The Bastards

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

'The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth in what sense?'

'I can hardly wait for someone to invent paper.'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'Why is it always about me?'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"We, the jury, find the defendant."

"Repeat after me..."

'It wasn't a hate crime, Your Honor — I actually kind of liked the guy.'

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

"Overruled."

'Oh sure, Your Honor, he can speak. He's using sign language ...