Court Buff Prints

Before it even began this would become one of the longest trials on record.

'Oh yeah? Well, Murphy's law doesn't apply here.'

"Your Honor, all this pretrial publicity has made my client look fat."

"You're fired."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

Sue the Author 3PM

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

Planet of the Lawyers

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'Mrs Witch, you're being accused of using a poisoned apple to send a young girl into a death-like sleep. I'm placing you under arrest for the possession of illegal drugs.'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'Why is it always about me?'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

Newton's Law and Order.

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

Privatized Jails

"I think it's a subpoena!"

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

Upholding the Law

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

Ignorance of the Law