Course Critic T-Shirts

Course Books

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"One can be against entitlements, and still feel a sense of entitlement."

"This computer program is very intuitive. It automatically calls me when you do something stupid."

"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it."

Uni. Snowflake Library

'On this hole you don't drive, just putt.'

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

'Call this one -I like short resumes.'

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

"I won't do the 'What I did on my summer vacation' assignment. I consider it a privacy issue."

'I used to have serfs, but I've found that free-range peasants are more efficient.'

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

'Today I have dumbed-down philosophy, followed by dumbed-down chemistry and dumbed-down English lit.'

"O.K., here I am in the fourth grade, but is that really what I want to be doing with my life?"

'The LACK of a resume indicates that I don't need one.'

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

Barrett - rushed majority

"For the next few hours, I'll be bringing you info with no tainment."

Phrenology head filled with National Curriculum instead of real knowledge.

"I don't want your teacher to think a kid with grades this bad....could possibly have a father who could read or write."

"Our curriculum focusses less on rote memorization and more on putzing around."

"I like our history teacher, but he talks too much about the past."

Teacher Shortage/Brain Shortage

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

'I'm judge, jury and, I'm hoping, one day...'

'I want to open a joint account with the riches man in town. . .'