Course Critic Prints

Course Books

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"One can be against entitlements, and still feel a sense of entitlement."

"This computer program is very intuitive. It automatically calls me when you do something stupid."

"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it."

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

'On this hole you don't drive, just putt.'

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

'Call this one -I like short resumes.'

Uni. Snowflake Library

"I won't do the 'What I did on my summer vacation' assignment. I consider it a privacy issue."

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

'I used to have serfs, but I've found that free-range peasants are more efficient.'

Phrenology head filled with National Curriculum instead of real knowledge.

"For the next few hours, I'll be bringing you info with no tainment."

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

'The LACK of a resume indicates that I don't need one.'

"I don't want your teacher to think a kid with grades this bad....could possibly have a father who could read or write."

'Today I have dumbed-down philosophy, followed by dumbed-down chemistry and dumbed-down English lit.'

"O.K., here I am in the fourth grade, but is that really what I want to be doing with my life?"

Teachers Lounge. That's funny -- I was sure the "No Child Left Behind" act would cover field trips.

Barrett - rushed majority

"Our curriculum focusses less on rote memorization and more on putzing around."

'I'm judge, jury and, I'm hoping, one day...'

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

'I want to open a joint account with the riches man in town. . .'

"I like our history teacher, but he talks too much about the past."