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'Talk about rough courses!'

Occu-Pie Mars

They're Not Just That Into It

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

Every class has one. . .

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

'Did anyone tell her we're from another planet?'

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

"Santa's not been happy with your behavior in class and says, get it together or your Christmas won't be merry!"

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

Woody Allen

'For pity's sake stop that infernal humming!'

The Porkypine Pals - Moon Business

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'Look at it this way ... one bad job can can give you all the experience you'll ever need.'

"I can count to 20...Without taking off my shoes."

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'Might I caution you on suing the defendant for damages...such action is fraught with difficulty, given your 'hand-me-down' status in his family!!'

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

Where do you see yourself in five years? 35.

'Judge Mental.'