Coupon King T-Shirts

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

Toothpaste Special Offer! Buy One, Get One Free!!!

Cut Price

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Unusual Offers

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

Sale today - 50% off everything!

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

A Valentine's Day IOU Coupon

'They've got a great deal here. When you buy one meal, I get mine half price!'

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

'Do you have any coupons?'

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

What You Came In For In The First Place And Forgot Aisle.

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

"So with 50% sale discount, plus the 30% early bird reduction, a 10% bonus for paying in full and a $100 cash back... we owe you $1.75"

Time-Off Coupons

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

"Dog food coupons! Dog food coupons!"

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

'See, money can buy happiness and I have a dollar off coupon, too!'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons that the dollar...'

'It's okay -- I had a coupon.'