Couple Extraordinaire Pillows

Never marry the girl next door: 'I know you better than you know yourself!'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Profit

"Stephen and I are today's special."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"I think I need an extra pillow."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

Sauvignon Bonk

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Try to guess the continent dining...

Difference of Opinion

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

Klimt Kiss Phones