Couch Counselling Connoisseur T-Shirts

A shrink.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

Studies show foods work miracles!

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"Goal!"

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

Binge Watch

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

Axel, I notice you read a lot of highbrow books

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."