Cosmos Fan Prints

"If we announce what we've found, it'll get a small article in the paper. If we say we can't figure out what it is, it'll make the front page."

The Big Tipper

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

"We've all said things about heliocentricity that look bad when taken out of context."

What if Huckabee Were a Fundamentalist Hindu?

The solar system is replaced by sports balls.

'When is science going to explain the dark matter I find in my belly button every morning?'

"What's the first thing you remember?" "Why do you ask?" "Because it'll help the cosmologists." "Come again?" "Cosmologists have discovered a lot about the universe. In 1990, they discovered cosmic microwaves are 'black body radiation.'" "What that means is, they discovered the microwave radiation that fills the universe conforms exactly to a pattern known as a 'black body spectrum' that was predicted by models of the Big Bang." "English!!!" "They proved the Big Bang happened." "But one of the b

Stephen Hawking

The Dawn of Time.

Day One, NASA

'What? - I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

'The scientific explanation is that the universe expands exponentially, and your body is expanding with it.'

"Why am I the BUTT of every joke?"

'If I don't think inside the box... why should I think outside the box?'

Serious business

"In the late Cretaceous" "What do you mean, you're here for all of us at once?"

Stephen Hawking: Pale Blue Dot

'Cosmic!'

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"The last time I did that he thought he'd discovered a new planet."

"Can you tell me what happened before The Big Bang?"

Voyeurs guide to the Cosmos (stars in the shape of a sexy woman).

"I hope it's not contagious."

Search for Extraterrestrial Life. Ernie is working on a theory that alien life forms avoid the Milky Way galaxy because they're lactose intolerant.

"I'm sexually attracted to space."

World Cup Universe.

Eye Opener

"I looked up your rash online. Have you recently been to one of the moons of Saturn? Or, it could just be poison ivy."

'Put it down, it's the captain's log.'

AstraZeneca

Big Bark Theory (canine version of the origin of the universe)