Cosmic Chuckle Enthusiasts Pillows

'Sorry, I already have a Comet!'

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

First Contact

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

"With the whole world in NATO, we won't have to take any more crap from Mars."

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

Climbing to the moon

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"Thank you earthlings, without your space junk we would be nothing."

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'I've had a toothache for the last million light years, take me to your dentist.'

"Be realistic, how can lumps of rock zooming around in space affect our lives down here?"

"What am I, chopped liver?"

Map of Solar System from Memory.

Space Shuttle.

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow finally landed on the moon.

"Remember, there's an additional charge if you don't refill the tank before you return it."

"...but that equals 243 Earth days!"

Cheerleaders from another planet

"Whoa...Somehow I think I deleted too much."

"Look...the Pope's not stoppin' by for a little chit chat! He's here to admonish you and revoke your powers in the name of God!"

'They come down here to smoke.'

'I'm NOT sweating -- those are OCEANS!'

"Wow, that thing is bright! Glad we wore our sunglasses!"