Cosmetic Dentistry Buff Prints

"That's the strongest teeth whitener we carry. Smile in the dark and your mouth becomes a night light."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Meanwhile in Hollywood

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

The Cat Spa

Do you think I'm sixty?

Sheep In Curlers

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'My dentist recommended it.'

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

Two men in barber shop

'Will the surgery leave a scar?'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'Of course I'll love you when you 'go grey'... Why shouldn't I... I've loved you through six other shades!'

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

Level up your game with a MANicure.

Parrot looking in mirror has feather headdress options.

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

Closed for the Foreseeable Future

'Please become a NHS dentist!'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

"I tried that new detangling shampoo."

"I hate hat hair."