Corruption Comedy T-Shirts

'Remember the plan: on the final stretch, you go down.'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

"Gentleman I believe I've found a revolutionary new way for us to more productively waste our lives."

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

"You're fired, Withron. I got a terrific deal on a handful of ballpoints."

'I said I wanted to address the manager shortage -- not a short manager!'

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

"Unlike other companies, we are going to take the high road through this rough time, even if, at some point, we're obliged to raid the employee pension fund! Is everybody clear on that?"

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

Robber on treadmill

"I'm sending you to Siberia. Your job is remaining here."

'You're resigning? What great timing! I was going to lay you off friday!'

Bug Spray/Sun Screen

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."

"It's amazing to think he started out in the lobby."

"Can you put more nudity in this?"

"Get me a young fella-me-lad with a jib I like the cut of."

'You're overworked and underpaid. That's what gives you job security.'

'Don't try to use me. I'm not user friendly!'

"We're a cable giant, you're a cable giant."

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

"At the end of the day, Maureen, wake me up."

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

'He's been with me for a long time... he was my first ulcer.'

"Staff are always complaining about supposed bureaucracy, but if no one completed form M74/cd3 then how would we know how many M74/cd3’s had been filled out!"

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

Little man in big man's pocket.

'The negotiations were really tough this year...but the good news is that we managed to hang on to ALL the extra work!'