Corporate Training Pillows

Communication Breakdowns

'Of course, the first rule of effective management is active participation.'

'Well,just by looking around I can tell that you haven't taken full advantage of the many staff training opportunities available to you.'

'You didn't attend our interpersonal skills seminar did you Perkins?'

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

"Frankly I was expecting something a bit more sophisticated..."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Well I hope that gives you a flavour of what the work is about...any questions?"

"Effective leadership is more than just telling everybody to be like you!"

'Before you begin, I'd like to thank you for coming in early to do this on such short notice.'

"I heard this new H.R. lady had some unusual training methods..."

Leadership seminar

"I can talk for hours without saying anything substantial in a completely incomprehensible way. That's why I'm called an expert."

Corporate Coaching Management Training.

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"But we've been interviewing like this for years...why would we want to change now?"

"I want to learn how to talk the talk."

'Management very much believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivating staff.'

"Does he respond better to a confident approach or a groveling approach?"

Employee Seminar: How Patience Improves Performance. Those not attending face immediate termination.

"But this is what sexual harassment has cost us."

Mrs Dellarosa will teach us a catch tune about how to use the new copier.

'I want to thank you for sending me to those Excellency training classes.'

'I like to start by discussing potential million-pound bonuses...that always seems to get their full and undivided attention.'

Negotiating Skills Seminar

'I take it the Change Seminar stripped you down to your vulnerabilities.'

"He's more carrot, I'm more stick"

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

"For many of you training is just the chance to get out of the office for a day, the good news is that this training lasts all week."

"Don't get your hopes up, Filby."

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

I hope I've shown you some ways to curb emissions and I look forward to seeing you again at next year' s conference

"I'm sending a note home to your parent company."

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'