Corporate Succession Gifts

'Oops! Does this mean I'm next in line for CEO, Dad?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. ... Actually, you know what? You can have it now."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

In and Out Tray

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"Not much. Just enjoying my post-lunch bounce."

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

Between Offices

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

The Buck Never Stops.

'When training my son, keep him totally ignorant. I'm grooming him to be VP in-charge-of -denials.'

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

"The torch is passed, but since the company is going green, I'm passing a high efficiency, solar powered multi LEC prism spotlight."

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

'FIre me and you're in big trouble. I'm on the endangered species list!'

'My poor darling! Did your boss put you under pressure again?'

"Someday this will all be yours...assuming that someday you'll have enough to buy it from me."

"It's safe to close your eyes and relax...these meetings are safety equipped with front and side airbags."

"Yes, I'm sure you do deserve further career advancement. But if I promote you again you'll have my job!"