Corporate Storytelling Enthusiasts Pillows

'I don't have opinions. I have directives.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

The MBA Draft

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"We have an acronym!"

"At this office no two days are different."

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

Parade of Businessmen

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

Let's Celebrate

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

"I think you might need to start again."

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

'Go to work, do your job, go home. . . Penburtson, that is the American Dream!'

"The scowl might just be what this place needs."

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."

Offices moved to 23rd floor - taking the company to new heights - the management.

Change Management: Change can be ruf.

Dave realised that Clive didn't see problems,only 'challenges to be embraced'.

Greed.

"Already sold your soul to the company? Listen, I'll have my people talk to their people."

"I appreciate your vision and work ethic but I have a budget. How much would it cost for your vision without work ethics?"

"We owe our success to teamwork. Without it we could never have grasped at so many straws."