Corporate Culture Aficionados Pillows

Greed.

"This is my wife - the founder and executive director of our marriage."

"I'm sorry, but Fred isn't available. He's spending a few days in the penalty box for not being a good team player. May I help you?"

"Let's touch base again at three."

'Quite frankly,Jefferson, we like our people to wobble a little'

'Just wanted to step in say: we have a great consulting firm on this floor.'

"Good start, Dobson, but we'll need more than 'Lunch' on our mission statement."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

The MBA Draft

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"We have an acronym!"

"At this office no two days are different."

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

Parade of Businessmen

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

Let's Celebrate

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"I think you might need to start again."

'Go to work, do your job, go home. . . Penburtson, that is the American Dream!'

"The scowl might just be what this place needs."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

Now that I finally have an expense account, there's no time to eat.

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."