Corporate Partnership Gifts

'He's ruthless and greedy... so let's make sure he's on our side.'

Lesbian civil partnership.

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

Team Leader

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

"Janet, cancel my Guido's reservation. I'll be having lunch in the office."

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"I love your optimism."

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

'He wants to close the deal with a handshake. What do you think about that?'

Same Sex Marriages.

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

'This chart shows how much time we waste every day looking at charts.'

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

'Here are some bonus checks. Distribute them unfairly.'

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."

"I appreciate your vision and work ethic but I have a budget. How much would it cost for your vision without work ethics?"