Corporate Outings Gifts

'I took third place on our corporate golf outing, You should see the first place trophy,'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Build Your Own Portfolio

"The meeting will come to order."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

Inclusive speech

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

Group Think Time

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."