Corporate Mystery Enthusiast Pillows

Erwin P. Litterton - The Man In The Iron Mask

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"This position has become very important to the company."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

The MBA Draft

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"At this office no two days are different."

"We have an acronym!"

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

Parade of Businessmen

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

Office pics on dinner table.

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'I don't want your input until you produce some output.'

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

"I think you might need to start again."