Corporate Life Navigator Pillows

"There's nothing about your performance that you need to change....other than everything."

'There's a Mr. Tilbin here to see you, Sir. Shall I tell him you're on the phone, in a meeting or out of the office?'

'Adrian's having his appraisal right now!'

"We can't offer medical benefits because working here is considered a pre-existing condition."

'This promotion means you'll be getting the blame directly from me.'

Reprimand from the Boss.

You've got some disgruntled shareholders, an annoyed customer, the shop stewards and a VAT man. Who would you want to see first?

Motivational Posters: Quit staring at your feet!

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"Uh-Oh..."

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

Between Offices

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

Better times ahead.

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

Well, everything's going great! I guess it's time to bring in the naysayers.

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

'You may feel lost and insignificant at first working for us.'

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

Change of management - warning about revolving door policy

Yin and Yang VPs.

Amega Inc: Established 1991, incorporated 2003, paperless 2008, faceless 2010.