Corporate Ladder Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"I hate performance review season."

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

My brilliant career

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

Like many of those in tribicles, Mitch dreamed of one day moving up to the real deal.

"No, I'm not really a CEO. I just like to keep up with the Joneses."

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

'I'm a bit pressed for time. Give me your one-minute elevator pitch.'

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

"Ms. Ray, you're getting a promotion! You're no longer my Gal Friday. You're now my Gal Saturday."

"You are aware that we try to make money here, yes?"

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

Texturing the Walls

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."

Two plans - one long-term and one short-term.

Ladder of Success.

'I fetch, but it hasn't helped my career any.'

"Yes, I'm sure you do deserve further career advancement. But if I promote you again you'll have my job!"

"Firing is too good for you, Mike. I'm going to give you MY job instead!"

"No, our company doesn't provide day care or maternity leave."

Planting a Flag on the Summit

'The good news is that we're making huge profits - the bad news is that we won't be getting a bailout.'