Corporate Image Pillows

'We wanted to show a much more caring and sharing, less profit driven side of the corporation...'

I suggest you get a new chairman.

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Welcome to the Team

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

Parade of Businessmen

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

"You're on top of this week's Sales Pyramid."

Work Slave

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

HR - Helping Relationships

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

"You know, there's a corporate elevator."

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

'As my subordinate, naturally I expect you to take the heat on things that otherwise would make me uncomfortable.'

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

'I suppose they call it the rat race because only rats ever seem to win.'

'You don't get a raise with this promotion, but you do get to call your work area a 'work station' instead of a 'cubicle.''

Casual Thursday

'He's a real high flyer!'