Corporate Humor Fan Prints

'...Any ideas for a product?'

"Strategic plan B: We chop down all the office plants and grow vegetables."

'I think I've spotted our problem.' (too many consultants)

'Your thankless, hard work and commitment have been crucial to my career development. Isn't that the best possible reward for you?'

'Or to put it in marketing terms, you want more whizbang, we'll need more gizmos.'

'Excellent,Templeton! Now come up with a product!'

'I see you've heard how we treat 'outsiders'.'

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

"Dear shareholder, I am offended by your accusation that I am only a part-time chairman..."

"There must be an easier way!"

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

'Gentlemen, our first order of business is to find out where the peanuts are kept.'

'I was just giving her a few examples and she passed out.'

'Before we start, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

"I've come up with something that will stop shareholders worrying about dividends."

'Our salaries are so low,companies in India are outsourcing to us.'

'I need somebody to run this by legal. Anyone in the office wearing sneakers?'

'The company I ran was non-profit, but that wasn't intentional.'

"But it will never work between us! Your primary concern is with the business and mine is with stakeholders!"

Take me to your market leader.'

'I think it's time I put my priorities in order... I want you to find out what they are.'

'. . . and, now a word from the company's former treasurer about our financial status.'

Monday Morning, Wednesday Afternoon, Friday at 6 p.m.

"...but if we're ever scraping the bottom of the barrel we'll be in touch."

'We've decided that it would be wise, from a public relations angle, to dissolve the corporation and form a cult.'

"We shall now commence throwing money at the problem."

"You are lazy and try to get others to do your work. You have a great future in management."

"Before I approve your attendance to this conference, ask yourself these 3 questions. First, is this beneficial to our organization? Second, is this beneficial to my professional development? And lastly, does my supervisor give a damn?"

'Yeah, yeah, hail Caesar ... listen, I got a meeting on the Third Hill at nine. what are my coffee options?'

"I've decided to step down as CEO in order to spend more time with my money..."

"Crawford, I'm getting reports of inappropriate squeezing."

'No cubicles. All our temps are free-range.'

'Our acquisitions department accidentally took over a third world country.'

Johnson, Johnson, Johnson, Johnson & Johnson - An Equal Opportunity Employer.

'Hess may be a rogue player, but let's not rein him in quite yet.'