Corporate Enthusiasm Enthusiast Gifts

'Before the meeting starts let's all sing the company song.'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

The MBA Draft

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"At this office no two days are different."

"We have an acronym!"

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

Office pics on dinner table.

Parade of Businessmen

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

"He'll do anything to say in power."

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

'I don't want your input until you produce some output.'

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

"I think you might need to start again."

"Not bad, considering no one knows exactly what we produce or sell here."