Corporate Dynamics Observer T-Shirts

"To make things more democratic, I've decided to introduce a round-table policy."

Corporations are People: Money is Speech.

"This position has become very important to the company."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

St. Elmo's fired.

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

'Comments? Thoughts? Anyone?'

'I like people.. but not a whole lot.'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

'All applicants for employment must first submit to a company physical - We use it to eliminate anyone with a backbone.'

"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

"Missing a call is no excuse for eating your assistant."

"They grow up so fast."

'It's either the worst idea to attract new clients I've ever seen, or the best...'

"If you're wondering why you've been chosen 'Employee of the week,' it's because your work load is about to increase, while your pay remains the same."

'Have you decided who's going to be team leader?'

'Mr. Donovan, is it all right if I tie my shoelace?'

Yin and Yang VPs.

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

'Don't try to use me. I'm not user friendly!'

"God help us, it's that guy."

'You're not the manager I expected.' - 'So blame yourself for having lousy judgement.'

The Department of People waiting for Something to Happen...

'In five year's time?... I see myself on that side of the desk telling you it's a great shame, thanks for all your hard work, but I'm going to have to let you go!'

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

Thanks, I'd like to accept the job, but what is the salary? Sorry, it's against company policy to disclose that!

"Corporate thinks it's time we updated our motivational strategies."