Corporate Culture Escapee Gifts

"It's no use. I came here to get away from it all."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"This position has become very important to the company."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Spot the difference.

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

Lethal Presentation

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"We have an acronym!"

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

Satya Nutella

"At this office no two days are different."

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

Parade of Businessmen

"It's o.k., come on out."