Corporate Culture Comic Lover Pillows

'You must be one of the newest hires.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

Let's Celebrate

Office meeting

In and Out Sourced.

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

'This is just an informal pledge that we all go through.'

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'Nice power tie, J.B.'

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"Everybody's impressed with how you can shred incriminating documents into one long strand."

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

'Here are some bonus checks. Distribute them unfairly.'

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

Business Duck

Pizza time.

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

'Kroogshank, why do I think that you try to hide from responsibility?'

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

"You've all been like a company to me."

"No, you can't have a raise. You didn't say, 'mother, may I'."

'We offer full benefits. A desk, a chair and your very own cubicle.'