Corporate Culture Comic Lover Pillows

'You must be one of the newest hires.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

Office meeting

In and Out Sourced.

Let's Celebrate

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

'This is just an informal pledge that we all go through.'

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

'Nice power tie, J.B.'

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

Time is HONEY

"Everybody's impressed with how you can shred incriminating documents into one long strand."

'Here are some bonus checks. Distribute them unfairly.'

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

Business Duck

Pizza time.

"You've all been like a company to me."

"No, you can't have a raise. You didn't say, 'mother, may I'."

'Kroogshank, why do I think that you try to hide from responsibility?'

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

'We offer full benefits. A desk, a chair and your very own cubicle.'