Corporate Communications Specialist T-Shirts

"I've finished the press statement about the kraken."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Dialogue

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

HR - Helping Relationships

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

Ruddy bloggers!

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.