Corporate Chess Master Pillows

"We were too busy ignoring the warning signs to pay attention to the projected disaster."

'I'm not here to blame. I'm here to help others blame.'

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

'Choosing between the two of you has not been easy...'

"In this latest reorganization, each department is assigned a graphic icon. So, to understand your new place in the hierarchy, just remember that paper covers rock, rock crushes scissors, and scissors cut paper!"

'There's quite a power struggle going on.'

"If there is office politics going on, then let's make sure the incumbents stay in power."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

"You took that news with dignity and grace. I really wanted you to spaz out."

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

"I didn't get where I am by trying to please."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

Prawn Amend

"Frankly, we’re concerned about your checkered past."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

Existential Risk

AIDS prevention

'I can not get this game, the pieces all move like cats.'

Bored Baker

"Gentleman, come in! Come in! Let me take your company."

Trojan Chess

"Once inside, the pawns will jump out and take them by surprise."

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

Pawn Stars

'Do you want to be red Tory or blue Labour?'

'Some game dog you are. That's the fifth time in a row you've fallen for the King's Gambit.'

Chess on TV