Corporate Art Collector T-Shirts

'These were from my early 'Corporate Period'.'

Great Chinese Dynasties

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Use your imagination.

STRIP Hambone: Paper work

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

Wagging Dog

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

"He's an abstract artist."

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

Art Gallery.

Big Fish Packing Co - Our Flounder.

"Caricatures $20"

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'He insists on being a part of the corporate pipeline.'

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Self portrait.

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

"What's most exciting about NFTs is the opportunity for dynamic new content."

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"I read 'Art News.'"

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

Business Promotion.

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'