Cop Joke Lover Prints

'Donut shop is down the hall to your right - and I'm not answering any more questions without my lawyer present.'

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

Projection

"I realise that you're trying to impress your new employers on your first day, dear. But, this is our car!"

'Asking for a lawyer was a good move. You can't outsmart the cops by yourself.' (Lawyer is a puppet being operated by policeman).

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

For the last time, officer, I'm absolutely, positively sure it was number four.

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

Containment Cops

"We're all metric now..."

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

'He's working undercover to find out 'what up' with youth gangs.'

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

The Automatic Policeman

'He had it coming..He said my mother had an arse like the back of a cart horse!'

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

Oh, sorry, I didn

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

'So how do you like the new job?' - 'Not bad, better than walking the streets.'

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

Police dancing behind line - titled 'Police Line Dancing'.

'Even my three year old doesn't believe in that last one.'

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"

'Good cop - bad cop is enough. We don't need morally ambiguous cop.'

"Come on out, Rocco. We know you're in there."

Christmas Police

'I'm not a bad driver, they're bad pedestrians.'

Policemen

'Okay, sit there. . . but give me the keys.'

"I'll have the good cocktail." "I'll have the bad cocktail."

"Avon calling..!"

'OK - Spread em.'

"Feelings? You were screaming because he was hurting your feelings?"