Cooking Show Enthusiast Prints

"I'm afraid we only watch the cookery programmes."

"Bake for 17 commercials."

"Apart from writing your new cookery book what else have you been up to?"

Domestic Goddess.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

Benihana style of cooking.

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

Keith Floyd.

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

A Creature WAS Stirring

'A hacker broke into our computer and, in an act of human kindness, deleted your mother's recipe for peppers and meat loaf.'

The First Steak.

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

'How do you like the souffle?' - 'Great, will you give me the blueprint?'

'...tail of cat..tongue of toad and a good pinch of monosodium glutamate...'

'Can I start you off with a nice soup bone?'

'I tried, Larry, but I guess that whole 'watched pot never boils' stuff was just a lie! Larry?'

Mary Berry

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

Emeril Lagasse

"...and what has my culinary genius conjured up to delight my taste buds tonight?"

Loyd Grossman

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

"When did they add this channel?!"

Here's one I made earlier.

My Cauldron Rules