Cooking Class Dropout T-Shirts

"On. More. Try."

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

Cookery Lesson.

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'

"First you make a roux."

Dog Training.

"Cooking Tip # 23: If at first you don't succeed, feed it to the cat."

Now we know --- It's good for making toast, not good for heating up meatloaf!

"When you tell your Father how you're dropping out of college to be a renaissance faire entertainer, the least you could do is break character."

"I had my own blog for a while, but I decided to go back to just pointless, incessant barking."

Men's book clubs.

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

"Well, that gut has the cool hat, but the other guy is actually cooking."

"In all my years of teaching I've never seen pizza dough spun into a triangle!"

F&E Beachside Sandwich Shop. It's the final week for our bite-size summer special. We start with miniature frankfurters on a baguette. It's grilled and then cut into small pieces. And we add lots of dollops of mustard! That's your bite-size summer special? Yeah, they're itsy-bitsy, teenie weenie, yellow polka dot paninis!

Omelette aux grosses herbes

"I've made my new spaghetti dish."

The Still Life Revolts

"I think the chef is depressed again."

"Remember, never put all your eggs into one omelet."

"Which cooking competition show did you get your training from?"

'... So then, I dropped out of university and hooked up with this nudist colony.'

Radiator Cookery

Pizza school: 'Hey! I'm starting to get the hang of this. How are you doing?'

'Leave us alone, you big bully!'

"The problem with those cooking shows is they don't tell you how to turn on your oven."

"Welcome to the '20-'21 school year."

"School lunch was pretty good today."

Of course everyone likes you. You quit law school.

"Ms. Davis, the recipe says to separate two eggs....how far apart do I place them?"

"You're always trying too hard, Eddie!"