Cookery Show Host T-Shirts

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Night of the Latkes

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'Anybody for breakfast?'

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

The Emeril Isle

Guy Fieri

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

Great Moments in Culinary History.

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

My Cauldron Rules

Here's one I made earlier.

"Charles please! Not a slice and dice movie."

"Tell me, is a single spaghetti a spaghetus or what?"

"When did they add this channel?!"

'Gentlemen, put your money away. When it comes to killing TV chefs, I work for free.'

Microwave - 'Table 19 sends compliments to the chef!'

"The recipe says, that the whipped cream has to be piped onto the sponge."

'For this dish we're going to need two bottles of good quality red wine. And that's before we even start cooking.'

"Corned beef and cabbage"

'Ready, steady, Operate'

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

Chefs

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."

Whoa! Willard, you know you can't put metal in a microwave! Why not just heat it the old fashioned way and use your nostrils?

Tofu: Firm, Soft, Amusingly Jiggly

'Noooo! You idiot! For crying out loud! Sear it first! Then a slow oven.'

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"