Cookery Show Host T-Shirts

Mary Berry

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Night of the Latkes

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Keith Floyd.

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Anybody for breakfast?'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

Guy Fieri

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

The Emeril Isle

Great Moments in Culinary History.

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

"Tell me, is a single spaghetti a spaghetus or what?"

Here's one I made earlier.

My Cauldron Rules

"When did they add this channel?!"

"Charles please! Not a slice and dice movie."

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

"The recipe says, that the whipped cream has to be piped onto the sponge."

'Gentlemen, put your money away. When it comes to killing TV chefs, I work for free.'

'For this dish we're going to need two bottles of good quality red wine. And that's before we even start cooking.'

Microwave - 'Table 19 sends compliments to the chef!'

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

Chefs

"Corned beef and cabbage"

'Ready, steady, Operate'

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."

Tofu: Firm, Soft, Amusingly Jiggly

Whoa! Willard, you know you can't put metal in a microwave! Why not just heat it the old fashioned way and use your nostrils?

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."

'Noooo! You idiot! For crying out loud! Sear it first! Then a slow oven.'