Cook T-Shirts

Books - 'Cooking a duck' & 'Ducking a cook'.

Psychedelia Smith Cook Book.

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

Dec. 26

"I just finished my on-line food safety course!"

'What'll it be - one large risk or several small ones?'

'We don't know what it is, but once we add bacon, the public will love it.'

"We will always have Paris."

"It's Brooklyn clam chowder - you got a problem with that?"

"Please don't tell me they're making broth."

'Have you recently eaten anything containing lactose, gluten or peanuts?'

'Sign this non-disclosure agreement ? I'm going to use a secret recipe.'

'Sorry, smile's off...'

Stand back - while I whip something up

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'Waiting for the pancake to come down.'

'You just had to put in fifteen hundred acres of corn when you know darn well all my casseroles call for green beans.'

'I don't think you completely grasp the situation here, Francois...'

'Now you can surf and turf.'

'So should I bother with dinner?'

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

'And how would you like your porridge, too hot, too cold, or just right?'

'Your table will be ready shortly.'

Men's Intuition: 'Oh, I can tell from that look you're never going to let this go.'

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again!'

'The good news is I invented fire today. The bad news is I burned dinner.'

'The chef is just making your cheesecake now, sir.'

'There are millions of bacteria in your intestines, anyway. What harm could one or two more do?'

'What choice do we have? She knows too much.'

Will work for Food Network.

"We've come to spoil the broth."

"Kids! No watching Bobby Flay before Mommy cooks dinner!"

'I'm sorry but we don't make hay until the sun shines.'

'The Health and Safety guy doesn't look very happy...I hope we're not gonig to fail the inspection.'

'The health department will be here any minute. Get rid of all the salmonella back there.'